Reduce Your Stress By Reducing Your Stuff

Every day, we live in a world full of events, challenges, and people that cause us stress in our lives. Sometimes it may seem impossible to eliminate the cause, but that is what you can and should be doing.

Sometimes that takes time.

Your subconscious mind always listens and filters the world around you. That means that you are forming opinions. Thoughts are racing. Actions happening. Usually, without knowing why, you are feeling stressed to the max. When you finally recognize what is going on, it's time to take action.

I spoke with a client when she mentioned she was having challenges with one of her clients. He was stressing her out and had been doing it for years. She was working up the courage to have a conversation to work things out. Something that was stressing her out even more.

When she asked my advice, I said -

"How he is treating you is wrong. Anybody can see that. He's doing it on purpose or is unaware. It is still unacceptable and unsustainable. You need to bring it to his attention, reset expectations, and prepared to move on.

"Move on?” she said.

"Yes, move one, but you won't have to if he values your service. If he's unaware, he'll thank you for pointing it out and change his behavior. If it's purposeful behavior, he'll recognize those days have come to an end and will change his behavior."

"What happens if he doesn't want to change?

That's simple.

"He'll either quit, or you'll replace him with another client who values and respects what you can do for him. You can only win."

My client had that conversation and put everything on the table. They both decided to continue working together, and all is well.

If anything is stressing you, you can and should eliminate the source as soon as possible. Life is too short to be stress out.

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1 Morning Drink Helps Your Belly Shrink | Dr Alan Mandell, DC

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Apple Cider Vinegar for a Healthy Body | Dr Alan Mandell, DC

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Succeed or Do Not Succeed. Both Are Self-inflicted

 

How would you feel if somebody called you a liar?

When I started my first real business 20 years ago, I found myself stressed, working long hours, missing workouts, sleep, and family. I was determined to be a success - even if it killed me.

I'm not sure it would have done that, but I was a least on my way to wearing myself out since I was in my office at 2 AM on a Saturday, with a big bottle of wine.

Frankly, I was mad that day and was thinking bad things about myself. Feeling a little lost, as well, and a bladder full of wine, I stumbled to the restroom. That's when my reflection in the mirror stopped me in my tracks.

The man looking back was not the man I was on the inside. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he wasn't mad. He was sad. Success was proving harder than he thought it would be, and he was lying to himself about why.

No. I was lying to myself.

In a surreal moment, I realized that I was questioning my commitment.

How could I get up every day and say that I was committed and yet allow myself to self-sabotage?

How could I commit to taking on a difficult challenge and complain that it was difficult?

How could I ever get what I wanted if my commitment was a big lie I was telling myself.

Either I was committed to my goals, or I wasn't.

I looked into the eyes of the stranger in the mirror and saw a glimmer of my old self. I realized that everything I was doing was self-inflicted, and I was ready to stop blaming my challenges.

It was a moment of reckoning, and I could see my commitment returning as a sparkle emerged from my eyes, and relief appeared in my shoulders.

My inner Yoda also spoke to me -

"Succeed or do not succeed. Both are self-inflicted. There is no try. There is only commitment."

After that, I had a very good nights sleep.

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Push Here and Your Brain Will Thank You - (Created by Dr Alan Mandell, DC)

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Forgetting What You Do For Fun

What do you do for fun?

It's such a simple question that causes people to get a blank look in their eyes.

A few years ago, I visited friends who lived and worked on the Grand Canyon's South Rim. Yes, people live there - thousands of them. The drive into town is too far to commute - but that was okay with my friends. They had recently switched careers, packed up, and moved to become Park Rangers. They were right where they wanted to be.

It was late in the day when we settled into the guest room of their home and headed to the dinner table. I had been driving all day and was feeling a little fidgety.

"So, what do you guys do for fun around here?"

He looked at me like the fast-paced city slicker I was and said,

"I've been having fun all day - even at work."

I didn't get it - yet.

It turns out that his life change taught him that having fun is a sneaky little thing. Fun likes to show up when you are not paying attention and in the moment, whether wasting time or working.

In my career, I've asked people what they do for fun many times -

They are either in a materialistic chase for something our society has told us is fun… or…

They have forgotten that what they do naturally, when they are not paying attention, can be more satisfying than they think.

And, there it is.

When you stop looking down the road for the fun that you think you want to have, you realize that you are already having a good time right where you are.

No chasing required.

* This article was originally published here

Your Future Mentors Are Watching

You've set a goal and are putting in the hours to get what you want.

Why is everything moving so slow?

Larry was a mentor of mine when I was in my twenties. He owned a business, made an exceptional living, and after hiring me to work for him, took me under his wing. It was a relationship that lasted for years - although I'm sure I didn't make it easy.

That's the thing about being a young, bright-eyed dreamer with lots of talent and not much patience. It's easy to see what others have, set an arbitrary date on a calendar, and expect that everything will go your way.

One day, I pinned Larry in his office and was making my best case for a raise. I was sure he had gobs of cash, and I deserved my share.

After all, I was 26 years old, so it's time that I had a big house and a fancy car like him.

That's when Larry said something that changed everything -

"Scott, sometimes you have to keep showing up long enough for the right people to notice. Keep doing a good job, and they'll step up."

Of course, Larry was already stepping up and was being very generous. I'm not sure I knew that, and I wouldn't say I liked his answer. I'm pretty sure that I stomped out of his office and gossiped about him in the kitchen.

Over the years, though, I noticed that there seems to be a hidden layer of successful people all around me. They were keeping an eye out for somebody like me. Larry was right -

The person who can help make your life better is not always the person standing in front of you.

If you give it enough time, no matter what you do, when you least expect it, somebody will say, "We need to talk. It's time we do something together."

* This article was originally published here

Secret Ingredient to Doing What You Love

Have you ever heard anyone say, “Do what you love, and you’ll never work another day in your life?”

The fact is that you’ll work harder than you ever have - but you will LOVE every minute of it. Most people never have that experience because they miss the one thing they must do to live on their terms.

“If you want to do what makes your heart sing, you have to do what makes the bell ring!”

Yes. Making the bell ring means making money. After all, you must fund your fun - right?

Have you ever been inside a Harley-Davidson dealership when a new motorcycle sells? They ring a bell. Not only because somebody’s dream is fulfilled, but somebody is about to be paid.

When my son, Austin, was a young man, all he wanted to do was be a singer in a rock and roll band. He chased his dream for years - between paychecks. When he made the bell ring, he could fund more of his goal.

I have many clients I help build income streams to align with their dreams. While they are eager to do what makes their hearts sing, I know my first goal must be to make the bell ring. It’s a fact of life. If you don’t have the income to support your dreams, dreams stay dreams.

Does that scare you?

It shouldn’t. That’s what you have been doing your entire life. The difference is you’ve been funding what you don’t want instead of what you do.

Say it loud, and say it proud -

“If you want to do what makes your heart sing, you have to do what makes the bell ring!”

* This article was originally published here

Using A Big Stick To Get People Moving

 

Don't you hate it when you try to get others on board with your vision, and you can't get their attention?

You have all the urgency in the world, but sometimes, others seem to be taking a stroll in the park.

The solution might be using a big stick.

A daily ritual is to take my dogs for a walk on the trails on my property. We've done the same path so many times they know exactly where we are heading. To them, it's what they do every day. They are in no hurry, and the walk becomes their version of a stroll in the park.

Have you noticed that life can be that way too?

Whether you have employees, family, friends - even waiting for a price check at your local Walmart, strolling along with no sense of urgency can be frustrating.

On that day, I decided I needed something to move things along, so I picked up a big stick.

First, I offered to let my dog Chloe grab the stick in her mouth so I could drag her down the trail. That worked until she tired of being pulled.

Next, I used the stick to herd her from behind. That worked until she got tired of being pushed.

Finally, I handed Chole the stick to see what would happen.

Without hesitation, she raised her head, wagged her tail, and trotted down the trail with her new prize. She kept going, without interruption, all the way home.

It's all about self-motivation.

When you figure out how to inspire that in others, not only will your life be less stressful, you will get everything you want. Remember that pulling and pushing will only get you so far. A better option is to inspire others to run on their own.

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Open Talk...I want to help you build your YouTube Subscribers

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“People Who Are Crazy Enough To Think They Can Change The World, Are The Ones Who Do.”

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Achieving Your Most Ambitious Goals

One of the benefits of living in Florida is the abundance of restaurants and sunny Sunday afternoons with friends. On this Sunday, the server asked what we would like to drink, and my friend started -

“I’ll have a Mai Tai and a Diet Coke.”

We laughed because we’ve all done it. Heck, I’ve been known to fall face-first into a basket of french fries and chase it with a pitcher of Diet Coke to feel better about my choice.

As we settled into a fun afternoon, our inhibition dropped, and every entree order seemed to get bigger, richer, and loaded with more calories than any human needs in a day, much less for lunch.

We all agreed that it was okay. We would be starting our diets on Monday.

Isn’t that when all diets begin?

But, in my case, I told them that I had already decided to begin a 30-day sprint to lose a couple of pounds - starting Monday. All this food is me preparing for a good before picture.

There were more smiles and laughs.

That’s when Ms. Mai Tai and Diet Coke asked, “Don’t you think it’s better to start slow?”

No. I don’t.

When you make small changes, you get small results. That’s okay when the overall goal you are seeking is small. But on larger goals, all you are doing is extending the pain of depriving yourself and giving yourself a little pleasure in return. Without the motivation of a big payoff, your mind will eventually choose pleasure over pain, and you’ll be starting over again.

The laughs became nods and raised eyebrows.

If you want to change, why not do it fast? Skip the scenic route, go all in, and get to your destination as soon as possible. You’ll be glad you did.

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You Don’t Need To Ask For Permission

 

My friend Sid called to tell me he had found his next big thing. He decided to take flying lessons and couldn't wait to get started.

I have always wanted to learn to fly after hearing my Mom's stories over the years. Her father was a contractor in Wilmington, North Carolina. When an airport client couldn't pay, he offered lessons. She was 15-years old.

Her stories of landing on the beaches of North Carolina were thrilling. Flying Solo before an arriving hurricane was captivating. We'll forget the fact that she 3-days short of being legally old enough. Her adventurous spirit took control. With a hurricane coming, she wasn't going to ask for permission. She took command, and it put her in the record books.

By the time I began flying 50 years later, things were more controlled, and speaking on the radio to Air Traffic Control was required - and challenging. Being nervous, I often found myself asking for permission when I wanted to do something. I would say, "This is Cessna 67508 requesting permission to…"

One day, while waiting for their response, my instructor taught me a lesson I could have learned from my Mom, "You're the Pilot in Command. Your seat is moving, and theirs isn't. Don't ask for permission. Tell them what you want and let them work it out."

What?

I don't have to ask for anyone's permission to do what I want to do?

I never asked again, in flying or anything else in life. I decide what I want to do and do it. If somebody else needs to know what I'm up to, I tell them, work out the solution, and keep moving. If not, I keep moving.

Some days it seems like we need permission from everybody else. Don't fall into that trap. Your destiny is your choice, and yours alone.

And what happened to Sid? He asked his wife for permission, and she said "no." He never took a single lesson.

* This article was originally published here

If You Lead They Will Follow

When I was a young man, I never thought I would be a leader. I was highly-driven, knew what I wanted, and willing to do anything to reach my goals. In my mind, that was all I needed to succeed.

As I moved up the radio ranks, doing my own thing wasn't working so well. It wasn't that I stopped working hard. It wasn't unusual to start preparing my evening show at 7 AM. My performance was winning more than ever. But it was also causing frustration among the staff. Not to mention that I also kept getting fired.

In my view, I was making us the top station in the market. In everybody else's opinion, I was a crazy Disc Jockey making a mess for them to clean up. They loved the results, but it was hard to support a guy intent on causing an 8.5 earthquake when he opened his mouth.

I wasn't blind to a problem I was causing, so I called a mentor for advice one day. He said,

"Leaders cast the vision to others and never stop. Your job is to communicate where the team is heading and support them while they support you. Yes, you know what you want, but you are also confusing everybody else. That's something you need to fix."

The next day at a staff meeting, I had a chance to speak, and I decided it might be useful to be humble, respect the team, let them know my vision for success. I also asked for their help.

In the years that followed, we had more fun and made more money. I was never fired again, and I started getting much better offers. And, to this day, I always remember to cast my vision to others and to support them in theirs.

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You’re Not a Negotiating Underdog

I was rushing through Atlanta Airport after an entire day of negotiating with a client. My flight was in 30-minutes, so I was beginning to think the deal was not going to happen. That's when things got interesting.

I've spent many days negotiating over the years and have grown confident in closing deals. I always think I'm going to win. While surprised, I knew today's game wasn't over.

As we approached the Gate area, my client guided me into the Food Court. He pulled out the contract and replaced my fee with a smaller number. Then, he handed me the pen and said, "If you can do it for that, I'll sign right now."

Checking my watch and not wanting to miss my flight, I almost took the deal. After all, winners get deals done. But, experience has taught me something else. Business deals that start poorly rarely get better. I decided to turn his less than classy negotiating gambit on its head.

As humans, we are hard-wired to survive and thrive. As much as I wanted to take the deal to feed my family, I knew I wouldn't be thriving. I also knew my client needed what I would do for him, my price was fair, and more importantly, he was afraid I wouldn't do it.

We all feel like the underdog when negotiating. It goes both ways.

With that I said,

"If you can sign the original deal before I get on the plane, I'll do it. Otherwise, I'll have to pass. I've enjoyed spending the day with you."

He who speaks first loses. I kept my mouth shut.

Thirty seconds later, he signed the original deal, gave me a deposit, and asked, "When can we get started?"

The relationship lasted for years, and we never had that experience again. It turned out to be an excellent deal for both of us.

Always keep in mind that we all feel like the underdog when negotiating. It will serve you well.

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The Healing Power of Breathing | Dr. Jesse (Yoga Practitioner) & Dr. Mandell

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Advice For Strong Relationships

 

When I first met my wife, Joi, I knew we would be married and live happily ever after. But there was a problem. Joi didn’t see it that way - at least not right away.

If life has taught me anything, it’s that almost nobody is on the same page when they first meet. We might be in the same book but not on the same page.

In the early weeks of our relationship, I was in full-on action mode, and I was on a mission to achieve my goal as quickly as possible. I was also getting frustrated since Joi didn’t seem to share my urgency. She was enjoying our relationship and in no hurry. One day, I decided to take action -

I dragged myself out of bed at 4:30 AM, drove 30 minutes, and waited for Joi to arrive at the gym. I met her when she stepped out of her car, nearly scaring her to death, and said,

“I love you. What do I have to do to catch you? We should…”

Stopped by a kiss, she said, “We’ll know in about 6-months. Let’s enjoy the ride.”

It wasn’t the answer I was looking for, but Joi had given me something even more powerful. She gave me an expectation, I knew her rules, how to play the game, and that she was right.

All relationships, romantic, friendship, or professional, follow the same path. There is an initial spark, a period of trust-building, and finally, commitment. In time, the relationship grows stronger or will fade. Time will tell.

That’s how it works and how it went for us. Exactly 6-Months later, to the day, I asked Joi to marry me, and she said yes.

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Quinton Wynn Every Day Quote

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Every Day is a New Start - Quinton Wynn

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Quinton Wynn Never Be Afraid

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Never be afraid to fly - Quinton Wynn

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Yukti Solutions Private Limited - Monday Motivation

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"Effectively, change is almost impossible without industry-wide collaboration, cooperation, and consensus."

- Simon Mainwaring

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Quotes of the Day

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